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Wording of the service to celebrate Jim's lifeWe have come here today to honour and pay tribute to the life of James William Betmead (Jim), to remember him and to bid our farewells.
It is natural that we should be sad today because, in a physical sense, Jim is no longer a part of our lives, and I think today we may be doubly sad because we are still mourning the loss of Val who also sadly died 2 years ago. But dare I suggest that we should not grieve too heavily; Jim lived a very fulfilling life to a good age of 73 years, he experienced many of life's adventures, and even more of its pleasures and achievements, and at the last he died peacefully and with great dignity, and dependant of course upon your religious beliefs, he is now reunited with Val, and that I believe is something to be thankful for. But Jim in another sense, will continue to live on in all of you, his family and his friends, for you have shared your lives with him and he has contributed, in his own very special and unique way, to the good people you now are.
So please use this funeral service today as an occasion to acknowledge your loss and your sorrow, to share your grief, to help comfort and support one another as you say goodbye, perhaps also to reflect on the meaning of our own lives and what we mean to each other, but above all else, to remember Jim with love and gratitude.
As I mentioned, it was only a couple of years ago that I stood here and presented my tribute to Val; naturally I had the privilege of meeting Jim under those circumstances, so in a moment it will be my privilege again to share with you a brief tribute to honour Jim's life. But first we shall hear from family members, Andy and Mark, who have some personal thoughts and reminiscences for us.
Andy presents his reading.
This is written by Jim's three granddaughters in Australia.
Our grandad was a kind, loving and generous man. We loved him so much and we will miss him terribly. We are sure everyone here is extremely sad that he should pass away as young as he was. This may sound bad, but I'm glad our granddad passed away peacefully in his sleep rather than painfully. I guess he just got lonely after my grandmother died 2 years ago. He didn't really have anything to live for but he did have a good life with the woman he loved and cared for every day.
Thank you to Roy, his neighbour, for helping our granddad while he was in hospital and for everything before that. He also helped our mum with information about him, for the hospital did not tell her much. Thank you to our dad and our Auntie Lourdes, as you helped our mum and Uncle Mark through this tough and upsetting time. And I'm sure our grandad would like to thank all of you for coming today.
Rest in peace grandad.
A tribute on behalf of Jane.
You have given me the ability to carry with me a lifetime of joy. I remember those special memories that you and I have shared and let them bring me smiles to remind me of how much you cared. I have stuffed those wonderful memories in my pocket so I can take them with me wherever I go. I will hold on to those thoughts and know that you meant the world to us. We won't ever forget that you're the reason behind so many of those smiles. And may we remember you in our thoughts and smile at the memories filled with you. So dad, you may have left us here on earth, but your memory will stay dear in our hearts.
Mark presents his reading.
I have many fond memories of my father that I will continue to cherish, our childhood in particular. He would make Jane and I some special toys that we both remember vividly. We spent many happy times as a family and this was due to thoughtful and caring parents. I remember dad making balsa wood gliders that we flew in Weelsby Woods; some crashed after take off and needed further repair, and I recall one so successful that it flew into the air, over the trees, and that was the last we saw of it.
As we grew older my dad was hard at work in his photography business that meant many long hours, both out of the house and in the dark room.
Of course in later life, we came to realise the sacrifices he was making. His working life brought him into contact with a variety of famous people and local personalities; he photographed the Queen on two visits to the area.
As we grew older and moved away from home, we always kept in close contact with my parents. My mum and dad continued to provide a compassionate and caring support across the miles, and this is something we will miss. Dad loved his grandchildren and greatly enjoyed trips to Australia.
After he lost mum, he really suffered inside and I don't think he ever really recovered. He was a devoted husband and his day revolved around looking after mum. I want to remember my dad in the happiest times, when he and mum were together, and I am sure that now they are back together for eternity.
THE TRIBUTE
Jim was born here in Grimsby on 29th September 1934 and he was the youngest of a family of four children, together with his sister, Sylv, his late sister, Rene, and his late brother, George. An intelligent young man, Jim won a scholarship to Clee Grammar School, where amongst other subjects, he particularly excelled in art. His 2-year period of National Service he served with the Royal Air Force, some of that time out in Egypt, and I know his organisational skills earned him several commendations.
Back in civilian life, he also worked in a clerical capacity, at Macfisheries in the accounts department, again his skill and commitment brought him promotion to office manager. But that was so typical of Jim, whatever he did in life, it had to be done properly and well.
It was at Macfisheries that Jim met Val, his future wife, who was a secretary and after their marriage in 1956, Val continued to work there full time whilst Jim devoted more time to his hobby of photography. From developing his photographs in a tiny dark room under the stairs, Jim established a successful photography business, he gained several prestigious contracts, including Findus, the Evening Telegraph and Target, and he became the official photographer for many council events and football matches. Jim truly loved his work, that commitment and dedication often meant forfeiting a family holiday, he thought nothing of travelling all over on his moped, and like many photographers, most Saturdays were fully booked up with weddings.
Weddings actually caused Jim the most problems, as a meticulous man with an excellent reputation, imagine the nightmare if something should go wrong with a family's treasured wedding pictures, but fortunately and as you would expect of Jim, it never did. Later in life, Jim also taught photography at evening classes, again something, which brought great enjoyment and satisfaction.
But first and foremost today we must pay tribute to Jim as a loving and devoted family man. The 49 years of marriage he shared with Val were very special indeed, a true partnership in every sense of the word, and if you needed to see the true meaning of a couple's wedding vows, "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death us do part", you need look no further than Jim and Val. We also remember Jim as a loving and supportive father to Mark and Jane, dear father-in-law to Lourdes and Andy, and a cherished grandfather to Tom, Angelah, Nicolah, Laura, Shevaughan and Jessica. Family life and family times were very special to Jim, not least of which were the trips to Australia to visit Jane and the family. But closer to home, the family home in Warwick Road also held so many special memories for Jim, after all, it has been his home now for 47 years and where, of course, he'll be remembered as a well liked and highly respected member of that particular community.
It would be remiss of me not to mention one other important family member, namely Jim's Bassett Hound, Benji, who was a good friend and faithful companion for many years.
Sadly, Val's death left a void in Jim's life that was never going to be filled, and I might go so far as to say that a part of him also died with her 2 years ago.
In recent months, Jim's own health steadily deteriorated as he became more dependent upon friends and neighbours popping round to check up on him, especially Roy. Jim's life came to an end on Thursday 4th October, he died in hospital here in Grimsby, he was 73 years old.
And so today we find ourselves here in this chapel having to say goodbye to someone we held very dear, but in doing so we pay tribute to a good man and we honour those values and principles and everything that Jim stood for in life; we know that our lives were blessed by Jim and by his fine example of duty, dedication and compassion, and now we'll continue to be blessed by his legacy of understanding, good humour and true love.
I fall asleep in the full and certain hope
That my slumber shall not be broken;
And that, though I be all-forgetting,
Yet shall I not be all-forgotten,
But continue that life in the thoughts and deeds
Of those I have loved.
Samuel Butler
Period of Reflection: The Way We Were by Elaine Paige
THE COMMITTAL
We have reached the part in this service when we finally have to say goodbye to Jim and when his body will be taken from our view.
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose on earth, a time to be born, and a time to die. And so death has come to Jim, his hopes and ideals we commit into our minds and our wills, and his loves we commit into our hearts. His body we commit to be cremated: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Jim, may you now make your final journey from this world in peace, free from all harm, fear and pain.
In love and gratitude we have been remembering the life of James William Betmead and recalled the person he has been and what he has meant to each of us. In love we shall keep the memory of Jim and in gratitude we recall the unique human image he has left for us.
So please remember how you felt today sharing your thoughts and feelings. And if you should leave here with just one memory of today's service, let it be this, that we will leave here better people, resolved to use our own lives more fully and to far better purpose, for having known Jim and for having shared in his life.
May I take this opportunity on behalf of all of Jim's family, to thank you all once again for your support and comfort at this time, for your donations to the British Heart Foundation and, of course, your presence here today. There will be refreshments at the family home in Warwick Road after this service.
So now as our service draws to a close, I would like to share with you the poem, 'The Broken Chain', which I read at Val's funeral and today I think is even more appropriate:
We knew little that day that God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone;
For part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
You left us wonderful memories, your love is still our guide;
And though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.